#mysql

wench_facts Catalogue

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Table wench_facts
ID chan term user description when_added edit
1
#mysql
images

http://mysqldump.azundris.com/archives/36-Serving-Images-From-A-Database.html and http://hashmysql.org/index.php?title=Storing_files_in_the_database

2
#mysql
archivist

the bot keeper at the moment

3
#mysql
seekwill

See will

4
#mysql
version

MySQL docs svn revision 5358 21/Mar/2007

6
#mysql
dupes

find them with: SELECT COUNT(dupefield) AS qty, otherfields FROM table GROUP BY dupefield HAVING qty > 1

15
#mysql
wiki

http://www.archivist.info/search/index.php/Wench

16
#mysql
question

If you have a question, please go ahead and ask it. We will not beat it out of you.

17
#mysql
will

see seekwill

18
#mysql
db

http://www.wench.archivist.info/index.php?chan=%23mysql

19
#mysql
help

!m [name] [function] !man [function] !m41 !m50 !m51 !man !man41 !man50 !man51 !manmt !manndb !manqb manwb see aide (fr) hilfe (de) ayuda (es)

20
#mysql
order by rand

http://jan.kneschke.de/projects/mysql/order-by-rand/

24
#mysql
middlewarehgjk

shabbs nightmare

25
#mysql
the_wench

a fat bird with a load of MySQL factoids

27
#mysql
doesn't work

Doesn't work is not a helpful statement. Was there an error? Unexpected results? Does it sit on the couch all day eating all your cheetos and ignoring the classifieds? Be specific!

29
#mysql
stupid bot

Horrible human

31
#mysql
reset root

See <1>resetting-permissions.html

32
#mysql
moinghj

moin

33
#mysql
hello allnbmb

hello <nick>

34
#mysql
sup all

why nothing

35
#mysql
goodnight

sleep tight <nick>

36
#mysql
bot

I'm *not* a bot! I'm a real buxom wench

39
#mysql
inviso

inviso is a perl hating bastard

42
#mysql
not working

What! not working? Really! did you look in the error log?

43
#mysql
doesnt work

Doesn't work is not a helpful statement. Was there an error? Unexpected results? Does it sit on the couch all day eating all your cheetos and ignoring the classifieds? Be specific!

44
#mysql
rawr!

/me bites back

45
#mysql
return

Please think in complete thoughts and whole lines. Stop pressing return after one word. Complete your sentences

46
#mysql
excuse

Reformatting Page. Wait...

47
#mysql
bye

see ya

48
#mysql
nice bot

Buttering me up isn't going to help.

50
#mysql
turing

Yay I passed the test. I am human after all

51
#mysql
hello!k

hello <nick> you are bright and cheerfull today!!

52
#mysql
hi thereu

Come in, come in! We won't bite you until we know you better

54
#mysql
sql injection

Please read http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SQL_injection and http://www.unixwiz.net/techtips/sql-injection.html and http://xkcd.com/327/

55
#mysql
it works

But of course it does

56
#mysql
I knows

And knowing is half the battle!

57
#mysql
hi folks

Dont forget the bots

58
#mysql
experimental

That means it probably doesn't work.

59
#mysql
filks

A better kind of folk

60
#mysql
trees

Trees and hierarchical data in SQL: http://hashmysql.org/index.php?title=Trees_and_hierarchical_data_in_SQL

61
#mysql
be nice to the bot

Or I'll rip your arms, legs and other loose extemities off.

62
#mysql
thanksy

No Prob!

63
#mysql
ick

ick is not the proper response to a festering pustulating software abomination

64
#mysql
jinkl

jinkl bells, jinkl bells, jinkl all the way....

65
#mysql
vb

http://vbmysql.com/

66
#mysql
tias

Try it and see, its quicker to type it on your system and try it than wait for one of us to tell you its ok

67
#mysql
fish

Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Tell him to go get his own damn fish and he'll either learn to fish or die of starvation. Either way he won't bother you again.

68
#mysql
fire

"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett.

69
#mysql
huh huh

Please state the nature of your computing emergency

70
#mysql
Hi allu

Come in, come in! We won't bite you until we know you better

71
#mysql
bed

Are you making a suggestion at meeeee!!! ooo go on then, behind the bike shed in five minutes

73
#mysql
sh

Shell is something you want to be able to understand. If you understand it, you do not want to use it. Use perl instead.

77
#mysql
evil

evil is clearly defined at http://www.parseerror.com/sql/select*isevil.html

78
#mysql
salle

the cookie monster!

79
#mysql
joins

Very basic join information: http://hashmysql.org/index.php?title=Introduction_to_Joins - For more indepth info: http://dev.mysql.com/tech-resources/articles/mysql-db-design-ch5.pdf

81
#mysql
tutorial

MySQL Tutorial: <1>tutorial.html SQL Tutorials: http://www.sqlcourse.com http://tut.php-quake.net/en/mysql.html and sqlzoo.net

82
#mysql
normalization

http://dev.mysql.com/tech-resources/articles/intro-to-normalization.html and http://datamodel.org/NormalizationRules.html and http://mysqldump.azundris.com/archives/20-Nermalisation.html and some here http://www.keithjbrown.co.uk/vworks/mysql/

83
#mysql
manual

at http://dev.mysql.com/doc/. If you're asking those sorts of questions, you should probably start with some reading.

85
#mysql
nermalization

http://mysqldump.azundris.com/archives/20-Nermalisation.html

86
#mysql
nermalisation

http://mysqldump.azundris.com/archives/20-Nermalisation.html

87
#mysql
collation

http://mysqldump.azundris.com/archives/60-Handling-character-sets.html

88
#mysql
charset

http://mysqldump.azundris.com/archives/60-Handling-character-sets.html

89
#mysql
character set

http://mysqldump.azundris.com/archives/60-Handling-character-sets.html

90
#mysql
sql tutorial

http://www.amazon.com/Joe-Celkos-SQL-Smarties-Programming/dp/0123693799/

91
#mysql
sql style

http://www.amazon.com/Programming-Morgan-Kaufmann-Management-Systems/dp/0120887975

94
#mysql
gui

GUI tools can be found at http://dev.mysql.com/downloads/gui-tools/5.0.html phpMyAdmin at http://www.phpmyadmin.net/ and even navicat or http://www.webyog.com/en/

97
#mysql
helloy

well hello there

98
#mysql
morningcv

Morning is the time for all hackers to go to bed

100
#mysql
ubuntu

Ubuntu is an ancient African word meaning 'I can't configure Debian'

101
#mysql
pastebin

try http://pastebin.ca

103
#mysql
kill will

die die die die die die DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE

104
#mysql
la la la

stop singing <nick>

105
#mysql
wtf

Pardon! please mind your Ps and Qs

107
#mysql
wait a moment

The_wench taps her fingers.......

109
#mysql
tune

http://www.planetmysql.org/entries/4279

110
#mysql
good morning

Good morning, sunshine! Welcome to another fabulous day in #mysql

112
#mysql
hold on

What do I have to hold on to?

113
#mysql
excuse

Closed for stocktake

114
#mysql
excuse

Closed for staff training

115
#mysql
ls

What shall I ls for you master?

116
#mysql
Anyone here?

No they went to the pub

117
#mysql
who me

Yes you!

118
#mysql
duh

A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five

119
#mysql
pushes the_wench down the stairs

Hey! *thud* son of a ... *crash* what the *thump* ouch *crunch* ow

120
#mysql
nothing changed

Obviously, something changed, or you wouldn't be here bugging us about it.

121
#mysql
$_POST

is not readonly

122
#mysql
oreo

Considering your ineptitude and lack of formulating pointed questions, these people have actually wasted more time attempting to assist you than you deserve. I suggest you copy the answers they are giving you and take a break to review them later when you are of a more calm disposition. Obviously you are too upset or frustrated to think straight. Go have an Oreo.

123
#mysql
groupwise max

http://jan.kneschke.de/projects/mysql/groupwise-max/ <1>example-maximum-column-group-row.html

124
#mysql
hey allh

hey one

125
#mysql
hellodfgdf

hello <nick>

126
#mysql
mysqlimport

mysqlimport -> <1>mysqlimport.html

127
#mysql
mysqldump

mysqldump -> <1>mysqldump.html

128
#mysql
Therion

a big fat meanie pooh pooh head

129
#mysql
Leith

Does anything for an Oreo

130
#mysql
why cheese is so smelley

By breaking down different chemicals in the curd, like the fat and protein, different types of bugs, including bacteria, yeasts and moulds, make new chemicals that change the aroma.

131
#mysql
goo

Goo is the stuff that makes bad designs hang together, once the goo is gone, the shit starts to hit the fan

132
#mysql
upgrading

For information about upgrading, read http://dev.mysql.com/tech-resources/articles/choosing_mysql.html

133
#mysql
generic

You have had a generic answer some thinking may be required to adapt to your actual needs

134
#mysql
hello folks

Dont forget the bots!

135
#mysql
versions

For information about MySQL versions, read http://dev.mysql.com/tech-resources/articles/choosing_mysql.html

136
#mysql
views

VIEWs are in the manual at http://dev.mysql.com/doc/mysql/en/create-view.html and in the forums at http://forums.mysql.com/list.php?100

137
#mysql
women

Foreign key violation.

138
#mysql
tab

You can probably use the TAB key in your IRC client to auto-complete nicknames, thus avoiding misspellings and wasted effort. Yay!

139
#mysql
temporal

Info about temporal trickery at http://www.livejournal.com/users/arjen_lentz/12261.html

140
#mysql
sequences

In MySQL you can approximate flexible sequences - see http://www.livejournal.com/users/arjen_lentz/34627.html

141
#mysql
bnf

The common way of describing syntax, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backus-Naur_form

143
#mysql
constraints

Interesting ideas on constraints at http://www.livejournal.com/users/arjen_lentz/49881.html

144
#mysql
column type

<1>data-type-overview.html

145
#mysql
design

Database Design 101: http://database.ittoolbox.com/documents/document.asp?i=2208

146
#mysql
enter

The enter key or return key is not a substitute for punctuation. Use a period '.', comma ',', colon ':', semi-colon ';' emdash'--', or elipsis '...' instead. In other words: DON'T HIT ENTER UNTIL YOU'RE DONE.

147
#mysql
filemaker

If you want to convert from Filemaker to MySQL, you may want to examine (bum link) http://support.blueworld.com/article.lasso?id=5142003608

148
#mysql
fish

Give a man a fish and you feed a man for a day, tell him to go get his own f$%*ing fish and he\'ll either die or learn how to fish, either way he\'ll never bother you again." -- MHillyer

149
#mysql
jar

Imagine a table is a jar of marbles. Each marble is a row in your table. Usually, they stay in some sort of order. But once you reach in and pick out certain marbles, it shakes up the order of the rest. Use ORDER BY to ensure the order of your result set.

150
#mysql
leith

Leith's always locked away in a dark room by Therion, if you want his attention offer him Oreos

151
#mysql
lucene

Searching through a lot of text? Want to do it like someone who knows what they're doing? Use an independent indexing/searching engine like Lucene. http://lucene.apache.org/

152
#mysql
pebkac

Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair. YES, THAT MEANS YOU!

153
#mysql
first law

I may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm. But in your case I might kill you because you're worth it.

154
#mysql
rm -rf

Damn you made me forget all my factoids

155
#mysql
quit

The_wench exits (connection reset by luser)

156
#mysql
it doesnt work

hits <nick> with a return value, "FIND A NEW CAREER"

157
#mysql
second law

A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law. I have made the decision that you don't count as a human being and am terminationg your existence forthwith.

158
#mysql
third law

A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

160
#mysql
poison

Your two fried eggs chips and beans sir!

161
#mysql
merge

<1>merge-storage-engine.html

164
#mysql
botsnack

ooooh let me bend over and lift my skirt for that

165
#mysql
hmmmmmmm

get on with it

166
#mysql
renumbering

About resetting AUTO_INCREMENT and renumbering rows: http://www.livejournal.com/users/arjen_lentz/36015.html

167
#mysql
archivist wanders off for the night

OK I'll be good while your gone.

169
#mysql
yat

Yet Another Tutorial: http://www.keithjbrown.co.uk/vworks/mysql/

170
#mysql
what's wrong

Don't ask us "What's wrong with this query...". We are not SQL parsers. We do not care to look character by character looking for errors when MySQL will tell all of us WHERE the error is. Paste the FULL error issued by MySQL.

171
#mysql
whats wrong

Don't ask us "What's wrong with this query...". We are not SQL parsers. We do not care to look character by character looking for errors when MySQL will tell all of us WHERE the error is. Paste the FULL error issued by MySQL.

172
#mysql
normalisation

http://dev.mysql.com/tech-resources/articles/intro-to-normalization.html and http://datamodel.org/NormalizationRules.html and http://mysqldump.azundris.com/archives/20-Nermalisation.html and some here http://www.keithjbrown.co.uk/vworks/mysql/

173
#mysql
is the_wench a bot?

Hell no!

174
#mysql
tunnel

For tunneling to MySQL, see this article: http://www.vbmysql.com/articles/security/connecting-the-mysql-gui-tools-to-a-remote-server-through-a-firewall/

176
#mysql
security

http://www.mysql.com/doc/en/Security.html and http://www.nextgenss.com/papers/advanced_sql_injection.pdf

177
#mysql
injection

http://www.mysql.com/doc/en/Security.html , http://www.nextgenss.com/papers/advanced_sql_injection.pdf and http://xkcd.com/327/

178
#mysql
spreadsheet

Arjen's rule#1: A relational database is NOT a spreadsheet.

179
#mysql
quote

Use ` around identifiers (database/table/column/alias names) and ' around strings and dates.

180
#mysql
quotes

Use ` around identifiers (database/table/column/alias names) and ' around strings and dates. MySQL does allow " for strings, but ANSI standard uses " for identifiers (which you can enable with ANSI QUOTES option). Don't quote numbers http://pento.net/2009/03/03/dont-quote-your-numbers/

181
#mysql
working?

working is not the only measure of correctness.

182
#mysql
I see

"I see," said the blind man, as he picked up his hammer and saw.

183
#mysql
minds

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

184
#mysql
the_wench behave

<nick> I'll try!

185
#mysql
hay

Horses eat hay

186
#mysql
pita

Pain in the ass, but I have a nice arse

187
#mysql
spoonfeed

No, we will not spoonfeed you. We'll give you pointers, man pages, general guidelines, even web pages that you *actually* have to read. But don't expect use to spoonfeed you. You can allways employ a MySQL Consultant for that.

188
#mysql
first

what error message have you got (.err file in the datadir or wherever debian puts it)

189
#mysql
Hi all!

Hi one!

190
#mysql
worst

http://tkyte.blogspot.com/2006/11/worst-practices.html

191
#mysql
tuning

http://www.mysqlperformanceblog.com/2006/09/29/what-to-tune-in-mysql-server-after-installation/

192
#mysql
prefix drop

http://archivist.info/search/index.php/Prefix_drop_table (ridicule archivist until this page is fixed)